Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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