I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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