fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
