on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
