It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
don't judge my taste in strippers
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
