She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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