Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
