HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
