We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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