i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
