girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
