i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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