idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
