I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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