Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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