Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sorry my hands just texted you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
