Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize