How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize