Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
