Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
