I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
