I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
