Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
