Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
