Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
