it wasn't lemon gatorade
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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