Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
