Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
