Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Two words: blizzard sex
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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