The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
