If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
