Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize