He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
