I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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