Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
