Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
