I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
