Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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