i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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