She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
