Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
