you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
