my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
