I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
