Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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