Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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