im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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