I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
