East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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