break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
