I think I died a long time ago.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
