That's when you crack a 10am beer
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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