I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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