You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
