Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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