I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
