Only a mothe r could love this liver
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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