I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
