Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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