a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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