What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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