it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
soo... how was my night?
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