I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
