Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
