3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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