come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
