bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
