Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
