I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm like, not good at living.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
