i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize