I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
