What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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