i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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