i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
