haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
