I hope mine doesn't look like that
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
