I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
