Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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